The One Thing That Controls Your Life

   -Unfulfilled Dreams-

I don't want to look back and talk about what I could have done

I don't want to look back and talk about what I should have done

I don't want to look back and talk about what I would have done

I want to look back talk about what a did

How I followed my dreams and took risks

Because wasting my life makes me sick

If I had money, but no joy, it's all useless

If I did it all, but didn’t have God, what's the use of it?

I don't want to abuse this

And tell my grandchilden my story was financially secure
As I look back at what I could have done better as I wonder.
if I’ll really listen
Or will I be too distant
God, I can’t help but chase after what I know could be the death of me
But I know that it could also help more people than I’ll ever see
Help me make the right decision cause I need it desperately
Scratch that… I don’t even know where to begin with this
The journey already seems endless
But I’m ready to dedicate my life to this
I need conformation or I might just quit
This is something I gotta be sure about
Not where people ask my whereabouts
I really wanna do this here and now
But all that’s really in me is fear, now.
I really wanna get attention, how?
No wait, attention should never be the end goal.

Let me put a pistol in front of my soul's window and guard it from everything sinful.

     Fear can be the most crippling thing ever. Fear can determine wether you follow what dreams you want to achieve, or back down and choose the easy road. It keeps you chained down and scared to speak, try, experience, be passionate, play, run, be free! Fear steals your freedom. It becomes an addiction because you might be able to run to it for safety, but you aren't really safe. The very thing you are running to is what you are chained to. Your brain has switched what is evil and what is good. 

"Oh no, I'm fine. Speaking in front of people isn't for me." 

"I rather not go there. I prefer my usual routine."

"Well okay, I'll do it. It might hurt their feelings if I say no."

     Right now quite honestly I feel on top of fear. I feel like I broke its hold on me. It's why I'm writing this, because I feel so much more free. I'm positive that I'm not unafraid of everything. In fact, I'm afraid that I will compromise the standards I have set for myself. I'm afraid if I kill the beliefs that have rooted my faith, my faith will wither away. I am really afraid of a lot things. But I'm sure David was afraid of Goliath, did that stop him? David didn't let fear control him. 

What it comes down to is this: we're afraid of fear.

     Being afraid is normal, but it's when we fight even though we doubt, that true character shines throughout. (Sorry, unintentional rhyming ;) .... My biggest prayer for us all is that we go even though we want to stop. That our emotions don't control who we are. That other's opinions don't stop us from chasing what is right. That as I grow up, because I am only 17, I always remember fear is only as alive as I make it. I was God to use me however He wants to. I will die if I have to. I will speak in front of thousands if He want me to. I will go. And fear won't stop me. 

     I don't care what you do. I don't care if you sit at home all your life. It's your life. God didn't put me in charge of you, and frankly I'm glad because I don't really care enough. Sue me. I'm telling you I won't let fear control me. I want you to choose the same, but I'm not forcing anyone to, as you can see. I pray you find freedom from fear in your own life too. Don't let fear be an excuse.

Freedom From Me,

Luke.