I just need to vent for a moment. I don't know how long this will end up being. I hate this world's state. No I'm not about to rant about the world and how we can solve it, I'm about to rant about how we can't solve it. And that scares me. Throughout my years of living, I hear people yelling at me telling me "this" is how to solve our problems, or "that" is how. I was recently reading a philosophy book and I came across a problem called The Trolley Problem.
I'll break it down for you:
There is a a train that is going full speed and it cannot be stopped in any way, shape, or form. The train is approaching a part of the track where it can break off to another path way. All it takes is a simple pull of a lever to turn the train's course down to the other pathway. On one of the two paths to take are 4 people. They will not move off the tracks, if you don't pull the lever they will be hit and killed. Now on the second track that leads off the main one, is a single person. If you pull the lever and divert from killing the 4 people, you will kill the one person. The question here is, do you pull the lever and save the 4 people in exchange for the one man's life, or do you leave the train down its course and kill the 4 people?
Many philosophers have debated this for centuries. Frankly it seems hyper-unlikely, but according to how the world works, it could happen. We can think up plenty of other situations too that have the same basic moral dilemma. Honestly even if there is some sort of loop hole here, there are plenty of other situations that we just can't explain. Why do people kill themselves? Why do I doubt my faith? Why am I insecure? I am constantly haunted by countless unanswerable questions. Ask any one of any age, nobody has the answer to everything. And we can't have the answer. We won't even have the answers in this life. Give up on that.
If we can grasp this idea, we can stop acting like we are living perfect lives in our perfect world. Being fake disgusts me. My family isn't perfect at all. We fight a lot, but I love them to death. And I will love them to my death. If you are struggling with something you don't have to act like you have everything together. We sure as heck know we don't have it together. I despise masks. And the fact that I wear them.
No I am not smart. I don't feel smart or godly at all. I don't feel qualified to write this, I don't feel good and right with God, I haven't even opened my Bible in the past week. What's up with that? Adults used to tell me I was poster boy for a good child, but on the inside I was hurting. I acted like everything was great, but me and God both knew that it wasn't. I only act confident so that I can hide my lack of confidence. I tell people, "I'm doing great" when I am not. Some days I feel completely hopeless, other days I'm happy as can be. I don't think that I'm going to Hell or anything, in fact I think quite the opposite. Jesus was sent here to take our place in Hell. He died so that even though I struggle internally, I can be free one day. This life is going to be hard, all the way to the end. Don't set yourself up to live a perfect life in an imperfect world. You will be let down. Loved ones will die. But we can have this hope in Jesus that everything will be alright! The world is broken, and I can't fix it, you can't fix it, nobody can. God has given us hope, if we will take it.
So if you don't have the answers, that's okay. Life isn't over. We have to make due with what we have. After all we chose sin over God. Thankfully He didn't leave us, but gave us another chance. We just have to live with our consequences until Jesus comes back. I pray it is soon. Oh so soon. I guess I am just tired of acting like I have the answers in an answerless world. I don't know why a mother's child got cancer and died. I hate it and it is horrible, but I won't act like there is an answer to it that I know. I don't know why people kill themselves, but maybe the answer lies in the reality of hopelessness in a world where they don't know Jesus. So stop explaining, and do more praying. Stop looking to make this world perfect and harmonious when it is dying. The only thing that isn't dying is our souls. Invest and feed them. It's all we have left that is meaningful.
I am not saying all this to depress people, because it should be the opposite. This should show you that you can take off your mask and be honest. You won't be cured of all your struggles forever, but it can definitely help a lot. You can still find peace in this broken world, but it starts with admitting we are indeed broken.
I hope this encourages you, I pray to God that it does.
#ThisIsMe
Also: here is my song of the day! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvOBYXXUQfE
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