The Mind Of Luke

-The Mind Of Luke-

What scares me is what other people give up on.
When you ask them what they dream about they blabble through a sentence like a run-on.
It’s as if the force of laziness is seeming a little too strong.
As soon as I get told I can’t do something, I want to prove them dead wrong
And you can chase anything you have the passion to do.
Fight giving up like you’re a master at Ju-Jitsu
I don’t know when you’ll catch it, but I know you can
You don’t have to worry if it’s all a part of His plan
Sometimes I doubt God’s strength, as if I can even understand
And I point the finger at myself telling people I’m the man
God isn’t confined to you’re spiritual episodes, and sunday morning
He is in the same place He was then, even when you’re mourning
I think there’s something wrong if you’re the same as you were a year ago
Because eventually your walls will come crashing down like Jericho
If I’m not the best then I will become the best, or just not even try
I’m funny looking like all the rest, I kinda have a caving for apple pie
Sorry, sometimes my words come out as nonsense
Like when I try to justify the meaning of what wrong is
I wonder if people will like me for who I really am?
I big fake who writes stuff about how he does the same thing over and over again.
I didn’t grow up in a prefect home, but they tried their best.
That’s all you can ask from parents that barely get any rest.
I did however grow up around a perfect environment, 
until I got a taste of the real world that showed how we’re just spiraling
down the toilet. I don’t even know what's going on yet. 
But I know there’s something deeply wrong and upset.
With this blind world that doesn’t want to admit it.
Still when it comes to heaven everybody thinks they're admitted.
Who knows maybe I could be getting a little schizophrenic.
I don't really care if doing what I love gives me weird glances.
And I not gonna compromise my standards, 
I'm sticking with God and I'm taking my chances.
Yeah, I’m a hypocrite.
I’m sorry it's too late to quit.
I can’t do this on my own I need Jesus to deal with this.
Got a bunch of thoughts running through my head.
I won’t give up this til I’m gone and dead.
I don’t think they heard what I said.
I won’t give up this until I’m dead.

Yes, Christians Do Get High.

-Here is a small piece from my book, Freedom From Myself (Woah, who would have guessed I would name it that?)-

Yes, Christians Do Get High

     By the looks of the title, hopefully you’re not thinking that I smoke pot or something. There is a thing called getting “spiritually high.” It happens usually when teenagers go off to a camp. They get a small taste of what it is like to truly study and read God’s Word every single day. Obviously at the end of the week they are pretty fired up for God. You can probably see them singing the songs they have sung all week long like it’s their last day on earth. To be quite honest, a lot of them are in love with the lifestyle that they are in. Not Jesus.

     Your faith is really tested when you are in a lifestyle you do not want to be in. With that being said, when they return home, they tend to go back to old habits. They get caught up with the wrong crowd, (who were already their friends to begin with) and God slowly get’s pushed out of the equation. That is basically a spiritual high. It’s really sad. This is something I've dealt with in my own life several times, and watched others too. We ride that high all the way into the ground instead of maintaining it to grow in Jesus. If we could only see the joy found through freedom in Christ. Youth camp turns into a taste of true joy, which we think we can only get at youth camp! After crashing from our high, we give up on Jesus all together as if it never worked in the first place. Was that person you? It was me.

     I remember when I had my very first spiritual high. This was the first time I had ever thought about taking God seriously. I had just started getting involved in youth group. It gave me a completely new perspective on how I should see Christianity. Instead of going over the Bible stories I’ve heard a thousand times, they seemed to show us how they applied to us. How Jesus loved us. He died for us, and how all those stories ultimately led up to, and pointed towards the Crucifixion. I went to youth camp in Alabama soon after I joined. I had really just started learning what it was to be a Christian, and I, along with every other kid my age, had also just joined the teenage world. That basically means we were fresh-meat for all kinds of temptations. If you’re a church kid (or anyone for that matter), there are traps you must be careful not to fall in.

     Anyway, going to Alabama was my first getaway from the normal life. We never really went on vacations as a kid. I went to see family, and that was all the vacation we ever went on. I had never gone to a condo overlooking the beach like I did at camp. It was an amazing experience. God really worked in me at that time too. The very last night I remember Matt Chandler was speaking. At any normal, youth, Christian conference they would always present the gospel at the end. It usually goes something like this: “There is a God out there, up in Heaven. He sent His only son down to earth so that He could take the place of your punishment. His son was named Jesus, and He died on a cross to carry the burden of sin for you. If you have never accepted Jesus, I want to offer Him to you today…”

     At that point, teenage girls would slowly walk up in tears begging for God’s forgiveness. Then the guys would get brave enough to do the same and then they would all say a prayer, and it would be done. Now that’s great, but it doesn’t teach the kids that their past life they have lived in is wrong. It tells them, “Hey, you’re a sinner, take this and you can go to Heaven.” Our hormone-crazed minds get over-emotional and take that offer without even thinking about it. (Sure we’re saved at that point, but it’s about following Jesus too. Even though our old habits might take years to throw out, we still strive.) But that is not what Matt did that night, what he said resonated with me.

     He didn’t throw Jesus at us, he showed us first what was wrong with us to begin with. To be honest, I don’t remember what he said exactly. I just remember he was naming off all the things teenagers struggled with: drugs, alcohol, porn, and so on. Near the end he mentioned what I had never heard anyone say before. He talked about one problem that I had always had. For the sake of privacy, I won’t go into detail. All I remember was that it was my Achilles heel. That was the wound that kept me from growing. When he said that, I thought, “Woah, did he really just say that?” It set one of the heaviest guilt trips I had ever experienced. I should have responded to God, I should have talked about what had happened to my friends. But I didn’t, I kept it all to myself. And just like everything, if you ignore it long enough, it goes away. (Or does it just hide itself?)

     Now, to clear things up, I believe that God works through our problems. The wrong answer is pushing Jesus aside until you can bash-in your sin by yourself. We can never truly get rid of it. God works through our problems and reaches the heart. All we can do is fight our problems. Imagine for a second that our sin is a weed. For someone uneducated about the matter, they would just clip the weed. The problem with that is, it grows back. Only Jesus knows how to completely get rid of our problems. He kills it at the root: our hearts.

     In this sinful world, we can never fully get rid of the problem. Jesus is there to take our place so we don’t have to keep trying. I may not be able to explain why I keep struggling, but I can say I’m covered in the grace of my redeemer. Hallelujah! If you are caught, now is the time to find Jesus. Joy can be found in the midst of all this darkness. Just ask.

Normal Sucks

     Let me try to take a load off of your mind. Guys, your whole life adults try to tell you that you need a normal 9-5 job, so you can support your normal family all so you can make it to your normal home in time to sit on your Lazy Boy for the rest of the night watching sports. Or ladies, you had your mothers tell you all your life you needed to know how to cook, and clean, be a homemaker, and be a loving, submissive wife in order to please God. 

Listen to me… Put all of that aside for a moment.

     All my life people have said stuff like, “so what college are you wanting to go to? You look like you would be good at business!” Well... I don’t want to do that. I might be good at it, but I would go mentally insane if I had to put a suit on everyday and got to an average job and talk about marketing statistics all day. Gross.

     This is where I began to think, “Dang. Life is going to suck because my whole existence people have told me to man up because one day I would have a job I would hate. And I would have to deal with it.” Sometimes I wonder if they are just telling me that because they feel hopeless seeing as how that is what they did. I never wanted to get an average job. I didn’t want to be in the norm. I have a theory that we only take the 9-5 job because we are pressured by past generations because it is the most financially stable.

     When I was about 10 years old, my mother forced me into taking guitar lessons. That small flame sparked into an obsession. An obsession that hasn’t and I believe will never leave me. From then on I played my guitar for hours upon end every single day for years, and years, and years. At one point I literally became the best guitar player I knew. I am not trying to sound overconfident, but at a certain point, there was nobody I knew that could play (in my opinion) as fast, or as well as I could. (In my circle of friends) 

But during that time, something happened. But it didn’t take hold until years later.

     At 13, I heard rap. It was Beautiful Feet by Lecrae. Before, every influential figure in my life had told me they were a bunch of gangsters who were pretending to be Christians. Ironically it was their lyrics that grabbed me. It pulled me in to a whole new universe of honesty, real life, and art. It fit me perfectly. I didn’t care that I was a homeschooled, white kid. It was the music by itself that I loved. 

     After that I got sucked into school, being told you MUST do well, so you can get into a GREAT college, so you can provide steadily for your family. That didn’t work for me. I had found this magic in a bottle from hip-hop and writing poetry. The words consumed me. The whole idea of rhyming words and how that emphasized their meaning to further coordinate its message to the listener. It fascinated me. It became this dream that I was told I couldn’t do because it wasn’t realistic. It was something I believe God placed on my heart to chase, but was getting drowned out by the opinions of other people. 

     I still haven’t fully dedicated myself to music and writing. But I plan to. My biggest fear is to end up being a cheesy, terrible artist. If it takes me years to make music, so be it. I rather put out quality work over time, than rush into making horrible music. Then again, I might end up being a writer and a speaker. All in all, I just want to help people with my words.

     My whole point in telling you this is so you can find that 'magic in the bottle' in your life to chase after as well. Forget what everyone else says. Chase what you are passionate about. What drives you to create, and what makes you unique. 

     You don’t have to follow the norm. You don’t have to be who you don’t want to. You don’t have to settle for anything. God didn’t settle when He made you. So why would He have you settle for something He didn’t instill in you to be passionate about? Don’t waste your life trying to please others. Use your talents for the glory of God, and take a risk. 

     Our purpose is not to try to create a perfect life in an imperfect world. 
Our purpose, now, is to spread the hope of Jesus in any way possible.
It is to glorify Him in whatever we do. How can we glorify Him in a job we are working to get away from?

     The good news is God calls us to use the tools He gave each of us. 
Don’t turn into a generation of people who settled for mediocre and kept their real dreams in the back of their mind categorized as impossible. Nothing is impossible with God.

Chase what matters, using what matters.
Find Freedom.

Why Christianity Is Failing

The Church – Poem 
(Not at all directed towards my church; it is filled with great people)

Welcome to our church.

Here we make it our number one priority to make sure you can praise God!

We never want you to feel odd,

so we give you the same message that tells you all about our loving God!

After all, God is Love, right?

Here at our church we sing songs about His love all the time, so take a deep breath!

And we won't judge you, because we don't even know who our pastor sleeps with.

Here at our church, you can leave feeling happy without any spiritual affliction.

Just make sure to put on your church face when you're here, we don't want to see your porn addiction.

Here at our church we have the greatest youth group!

Oh and don't mind the sniffing in the bathroom,

they're just kids! They'll grow out of that phase soon.

See our church really isn't a church at all,

it's a spiritual tomb.

I guess if God's the groom, and we're the bride,

we're secretly a prostitute to this world living a lie.

Cheating on God with money and the cheap pleasures that arrive.

But my oh my look how we've grown,

we've got a large band now just to drowned out the heartless groans.

Our church is the best.

Come be our next guest as we strive for success.

You'll never have to leave the nest.

Because God is medicine, there should be no pain!

On the outside of that church is love tattooed with a red stain.

But on the inside is a lust far greater than that, filled with money, sex, and fame.

               So if God is willing and Able, I guess that makes this church, Cain.   

  

     Let's jump right into this. Today’s church isn’t what it should be. Pastors don't act like they should. The congregation is hanging on by a thread. And heck, a lot of the times our comfort becomes a bigger issue than how we are going to reach the outside world. Why is this? Sometimes the answer is so simple that it is complex. We completely dedicate our lives to making our image look better instead of realizing that the reason we hate ourselves so much is because the problems we are struggling with on the inside are being ignored. What are these problems exactly? It's the sin nature we so enjoy. It is the "harmless" things we partake in every day. We don't even realize they are transforming us away from the image of God. In fact, the moment we were born we were given the task to fight our fleshly desires. This is where I got the catchphrase "Freedom From Myself".

      My whole mindset of finding “freedom from myself” starts with taking an in-depth and personal look at my own heart. It isn’t just a phrase, for me it’s something I have to think about everyday. I know that people have come up with catchy slogans to live by before, so that’s not my point. It is a mindset that I always have. Many people, even in the church, feel depressed, broken, and worthless because they are caught in sin and feel a thousand miles away from God.

     We are in a constant battle with ourselves. We as humans love to be selfish. We as humans love to be able to attain anything we want. We as humans love ourselves.

We as God’s children hate all of that.

Our soul longs for something deeper than what we can find on our own. The desires of the flesh get in the way of finding the true joy found in Jesus Christ. Fighting for freedom from myself means I am challenging my sinful side. My evil twin, if you will. That evil twin is not who I really am, but he is with me while I’m on this earth. I say that in the hopes that you will take a look at your heart, take a look at what you desire deep down in your soul, and murder the darkness that consumes you.

     In today’s society, I see this darkness infecting everyone. I only see that because it has infected me too. Our minds are filled with twisted thoughts that are disguised as good and clean. We probably even see them as perfectly okay and reasonable. For example, I have seen many people who say the church just isn’t for them. That’s a sad and scary statement. Most people would say, “Oh well, they’ll regret saying that one day!” But if we were really properly portraying Jesus’s love and how He intended the church to be, they wouldn’t be saying that.

     They should see the church as a hospital. The church should be a place for worship, healing, fellowship, advice, people who share your struggles, and getting closer to our Creator! Instead, it is being portrayed as a house full of Pharisees and hypocrites who look down on the world. There are the preachers on TV who love taking your money “in the name of Jesus.” They tell you that the Bible says we’re supposed to be rich, and healthy. If that were the case, the apostles would have been about the worst Christians ever. They were all dirt poor and mostly died as martyrs.

     The verses they quote that are not talking about physical wealth and health. Jesus doesn’t promise physical health and physical happiness. If you have those things they are either blessings from God, or proof that you might not be as devoted as you say you are. Having a nice house or being rich isn’t bad; don’t get me wrong. It’s what you do with those blessings that show who you really love.

     A lot of pastors however preach that if God hasn’t blessed you with riches, then you’re doing it wrong. That couldn’t be further from the truth, nor can those verses be taken further out of context. They’re talking about spiritual wealth and spiritual health. Following Jesus isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. He gives rest to our souls, not our bodies. He rains down mercy and grace... not money. He is our supplier spiritually, first.

     I look at it like this: if the apostles were to live today, those TV preachers would probably call them the worst names, tell them they are doing it all wrong, and that if they were truly following God they wouldn’t be so short-changed. I’m surprised they can stand up in the pulpit and say something like that. They miss the whole point. Our life is about God, not our comfort. Next time you are praying for safety, pray for God’s will instead. He asks that you give up everything (your plans for your own life) to follow Him. He doesn’t hand out a monthly pay-check. He is the greatest reward.

Think.

Why You Are Not Alone In Feeling Alone

-Psycho-

Am I really all I've got?/

I do the same thing, fall for the same things, struggle with the same things, guess I'm a robot/

Quite honestly I feel like a psycho/

In fact these words have become my new Bible/

I've replaced God with talking about God/

And the sad part is I'm already gone./

Well, my mind is gone at least/

I've pretty much mastered the art of acting Christian./

I can show up to church and talk about Jesus with my friends, then stop and tie my shoe lace/

Next thing you know I see a pretty girl and it's too late/

I should watch out for Batman cause I'm Two Face./

Heck, I'm even scared to open The Word./

I go from claiming Jesus, to saying his name as a verb./

And you know what's worse?/

It doesn't even hurt./

My filter in my head is all bad so there's nothing my mind won't blurt./

I'm living a lie and feel like a psycho./

I feel like I messed up and my whole life is a typo/

God if you're listening, I'm sorry for this./

I'm sorry for the deeds in my head that I can never forget./

Maybe none of this would have happened if we could all have been honest./

The only reason I keep up this fake lifestyle is because I think everybody else is flawless./

Everybody will hate me if they find out it wasn't God I was seeking/

I wish I would have known that's what everybody else has been thinking/

I'm quite scared of my nightmares cause they're right there. And I even have the nerve to glare at God and scream, “I DON'T HAVE WHAT HE HAS, THIS ISN'T FAIR! DO YOU EVEN CARE?!"/

I can't escape this dream, but I know there's something more/

And one day I'll wake up, see Him and my jaw will hit the floor./

I won't have to worry, but for now I do/

But I'm never giving up and you'll never hear me say, "God, I'm through.”

     In this day and age it is easy to get on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat or whatever you use, and easily have contact with most, if not all, of your friends. If you’re like me, then you can be very insecure a lot of the time. You might compare yourself to other people, just like me. Or even think that you are all alone and that nobody else thinks like you. Its where we get the stereotypical teenage saying, “Nobody understands me.” This is a struggle for me and for most other people.
     But it is also one of the biggest lies from Satan. He wants us to think that we are all alone. He wants us to hide in our rooms and pray to a God we really haven’t studied. Where we fail, is thinking that we already have the answers. Just know you are not alone. There are plenty of others that are questioning their faith, just like you. There are plenty of others that have absolutely no clue what they want to do with their life. There are plenty of others that have two identities: a smart, witty person who seems to have life figured out, and the confused weakling that doesn’t have true faith in anything at all. (And not everybody shows their good side in public)
     The good news: that’s okay! Living in an imperfect world will result in confusion. We won’t ever have all the answers. Frankly what lifts my spirits is when I can consistently do a devotional or something as small as that. When we burry ourselves in sorrow, guess what happens? All we see is sadness (Shocker!). But when we constantly feed that flame of hope, even when we don’t feel like it, God will be faithful. 
     You are not alone in feeling out of place. Which if you think about it, actually makes you fit right in with the misfits. With that being said, just because everyone else struggles with something, doesn’t mean that it is justified. We need to open our eyes cling to the hope that is right in front of us. If we can be honest with each other, we can get a lot more done. Instead of feeling guilty and alone, we can feel free and safe! This is all a mind game. And the devil is pretty good at distorting it.

Find Freedom.

Dear Friend (Poem)

Dear Friend, (Poem)

All you seem to care about is your friend’s opinions. As if they’re the master of your life?/

Seriously, you’re turning into a jerk. Your excuse for everything is to just laugh it off passing around high fives./

What’s funny is even though I’m telling you all this, you won’t care. You won’t do anything about it./

You might even text your friends and tell them how stupid I’m sounding/
That still won’t change the fact that it’s true./

Girls won’t solve your problems. Still you think about them 24 hours a day, I do too./

Every guy does. But just know, instant pleasure won’t be enough./

After that, you’ll only find guilt. Unless you take the time to invest in one girl, the way God set it up./

But HOLD UP. It's getting pretty old telling you the same old things every Christian parent tells their kid. In fact, why do I even mention God to you?
The only time you ever mention Him is on Facebook, so that you can impress your friends./

Or maybe you act deep and spiritual around girls? Really it’s only so that you can impress them./

Although you don’t want to think about that, because then you might start feeling guilty./

I get it. Just close yours eyes and think clean thoughts, then maybe you won’t be so filthy/

We’ve all been through what you’re in. It’s hard to avoid, like a train avoiding a train station/

It’s funny, one of the strongest forces in the universe doesn’t actually exist. It is only a figment of our imagination/

We let it creep inside of us. Satan slowly pushes it inside our brains, down into our very souls./

Peer pressure can destroy a person, despite what you’ve been told./

All your life you said, “Psshh I would never let other people’s opinions decide for me.”/

The weird thing is, they are starting to make sense. I mean, what makes calling him a douche bag so unholy?/

He is, after all, acting like one./

We don’t ever take into consideration that he goes home, thinking about what others have done/

Even though he seems ok, there’s a dark secret underneath that distorted depiction/

He thinks he can solve everything by taking that pain out through addiction./

Just like you.

Oh, we haven’t even had the chance to cover your addiction. Perhaps you’re not… or, well, at least you wouldn’t classify it as an “addiction”./

You aren’t like that one person who was sent to rehab because he couldn’t function/
At least not yet…

“Haha yeah, like THAT will ever happen.”

Remember back when you were little? And you always thought teenagers were cool and had everything figured out?/

You would always think that being one was so far into the future and well… Guess what? You’re one now./

…Kind of like how you laugh off the fact that you’re becoming the same tool your parents and old buddies used to warn you about?/
Ya, exactly.

It’s going to sneak up behind you. You won’t be able to stop it, because it will be too late./

In the split moment of embarrassment where you just got caught in the act, and everyone’s uplifted opinions of you come shattering to the ground, you’ll be asking how this became your fate./

You will look back and realize that your story now belongs with all the other stories from teenagers who lost a big part of themselves to social, mental, and physical slavery./

And you won’t even know how it happened. But your blindness didn’t stop the walls from caving/

...I can tell you’re bored so you can stop reading now...

Then again, this message intrigues you. You don’t want to admit anything because you still see yourself as a good person./

But why listen to me? I’m just another teenager who’s got an anxiety problem/

It isn’t like this happens to everybody…
Wait.

I say all of this because I care about you.
Because you’re a son of God who’s been made new./
I love you, but I hope the Lord breaks you./

From your closest friend,
You.